My husband came out looking more embarrassed than I had ever seen him. He rubbed the back of his neck, avoided my eyes, and said, “Honey, I’m not sure how to say this, but I’ve been using something from work.” I stared at him, waiting for the worst. Then he pulled a small jar from his jacket pocket, and the smell hit me before he even opened it.
Apparently, one of his coworkers had given him a “natural healing cream” for sweat, irritation, and body odor. The problem was, my husband had been using it every single day without reading what was actually in it. Garlic oil, sulfur, herbs, and something the doctor politely called “not meant for regular human use.” Suddenly, the mystery smell made perfect sense.
The doctor was laughing because there was nothing medically wrong with him. He had simply been marinating himself in the strongest homemade ointment known to mankind. I wanted to be angry, but relief hit me so hard that I started laughing too. My husband stood there red-faced while the doctor gently told him to throw the jar away and never accept bathroom advice from a man named Rick at work again.
On the drive home, we barely spoke for five minutes before both of us burst out laughing. For weeks, I had imagined every scary possibility, while the real answer had been sitting in his pocket the whole time. That day taught us two things. Always check mysterious smells before panicking, and never trust a “miracle cream” that comes in an unlabeled jar.
